love communication relationship

My line of work introduces me to a varied mix of people and I am lucky to share in very personal journeys.  These journeys are unique and special, every one is different and teaches me lessons every time. I often work one to one, today I was sharing work space with a married couple in business together.  Their passion, love and dedication shone through.  What an honour for me.

Following the meeting today, I stumbled across this blog that peaked my interest, written by Mark Manson published on Quartz.com originally featured on MarkManson.net.– Every successful relationship is successful for the same exact reasons. 

I read with great interest having been through an interesting journey in my own relationship.  Mark himself was getting married and pondered on the elements of a successful marriage so he asked his readers for advice and the response he got was overwhelming and interestingly similar.  The 14 points were these…

  1. Be together for the right reasons
  2. Have realistic expectations about relationships and romance
  3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect
  4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts
  5. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals
  6. Give each other space
  7. You and your partner will grow and change in unexpected ways; embrace it
  8. Get good at fighting
  9. Get good at forgiving
  10. The little things add up to the big things
  11. Sex matters alot
  12. Be practical and create relationship rules
  13. Learn to ride the waves

His closing paragraph was by Margo and a succinct summary, it reads as follows.

“You can work through anything as long as you are not destroying yourself or each other. That means emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually. Make nothing off limits to discuss. Never shame or mock each other for the things you do that make you happy. Write down why you fell in love and read it every year on your anniversary (or more often). Write love letters to each other often. Make each other first. When kids arrive, it will be easy to fall into a frenzy of making them the only focus of your life…do not forget the love that produced them. You must keep that love alive and strong to feed them love. Spouse comes first. Each of you will continue to grow. Bring the other one with you. Be the one that welcomes that growth. Don’t think that the other one will hold the relationship together. Both of you should assume it’s up to you so that you are both working on it. Be passionate about cleaning house, preparing meals, and taking care of your home. This is required of everyone daily, make it fun and happy and do it together. Do not complain about your partner to anyone. Love them for who they are. Make love even when you are not in the mood. Trust each other. Give each other the benefit of the doubt always. Be transparent. Have nothing to hide. Be proud of each other. Have a life outside of each other, but share it through conversation. Pamper and adore each other. Go to counseling now before you need it so that you are both open to working on the relationship together. Disagree with respect to each other’s feelings. Be open to change and accepting of differences. Print this and refer to it daily.”

You can read the whole article here Quartz.com.

I do not claim to be a relationship expert, far from it.  What I do recognise is that many of those thirteen points can be applied to business (you could change the word relationship to business) although I’m not sure where the sex bit fits in.

Most importantly for me, what ever your relationship status, whatever your status in life.  Communicate. Good communication can help solve everything, that doesn’t mean just talk, how about listening too.

Would you agree?  I would love to hear your thoughts, how do your relationships stack up?

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