Why team building?

Whatever the business, every team needs to work cohesively to generate successful outcomes.  A funeral directors is no different.

Delivering the ultimate in customer care, attention to detail,  paperwork, the legalities, making sure everything is just perfect, are just a few of the important tasks required when dealing with the passing of a human.

County Funerals,  is an Independent Family Funeral Service, their ethos is to deliver the ultimate service for their customers and deliver the utmost care and attention to the deceased in their care.  Whatever type of funeral, the celebration of life is as unique as the person themselves, and this all starts with their team.

Arriving at their quaint little shop on a bright sunny morning, I must admit, I felt a mixture of emotions…..it is a funeral director’s after all!!

Like many, my experience of death has been one of a painfully emotional time, losing loved ones and friends.  Trying to deal with grief and helping those left behind to move forward.  I had never considered the actual journey when someone dies and what happens.

The Brief…

My brief was to pull the team together, to encourage communication, delegation, time, and record keeping. To encourage teamwork, and to help the team recognise that each individual has a part to play in the bigger picture and each part compliments the other. 

This understanding of working together will be enabling the business to successfully grow and maintain its high standards, (of course making sure we are having a little bit of fun on the way).  

The prior conversations with County Funerals Director gave me insight into certain processes and procedures allowing me to design bespoke training activities for the team…I had yet to meet!

For all of this teamwork is crucial, so I set to work creating a plan. 

Day one….the eye opener

As I entered the light and airy shop space, I was greeted with smiles and a hot mug of tea, always a winner in my eyes… Jeff is renowned for his tea-making abilities (alongside conducting amazing funerals) you can check out his tea-making video on youtube. 

The beautiful company teal branding has a soothing effect when you arrive, their space is welcoming no dark and dingy, oppressive black here! 

Following introductions to the team, I was submerged into a day’s training in all things funerals.  I became one of the team.

I learned about the most important paper trail that begins when a person dies, how records and details need to be maintained and keep accurately through every stage of the final journey (check the tag became a standing joke of my training day).

The equipment used when collecting the deceased, how to make a coffin, how to carry a coffin.  What the different decorations on a coffin mean (do you know?).

Standing in the mortuary, my skin reacting to the cold temperature I stood opposite those sadly departed, fascinated by my brain computing this information, it wasn’t scary, it was amazing.  I listened as I heard how to prepare a deceased body, what the different chemicals and equipment did, how to keep the skin supple, what dressing the deceased and make-up does to help those of us left behind and so much more.   

My brain was buzzing with information, my eyes had been truly opened to the amount of work involved in the funeral industry.

Death had taken on a whole new meaning to me, and the respect shown and the processes completed were astounding…I’d never considered this before.

Day Two – Litabix Team Building Magic 

Day two kicked off with me taking the lead, in an amazing funeral space (you would have never known) the team met for breakfast and we began with a few simple ice breaker exercises, general introductions of the team, and of course tea made by Jeff.

Sometimes team building can be scary, taking staff out of their comfort zones and encouraging them to engage in a whole new way.  I know this, and this is all part of my plan, the activities are purposely designed to help people relax, laugh and give their best version of themselves.

Team Building Gold – Colour Profiling for Communication Excellence

Following the tea and icebreakers, I introduced the team to Colour Profiling – Colour profiling is a simplified form of personality testing based on the DISC model of human behaviour, based on the work of psychologist William Moulton Marston in the 1920’s.

This is a popular, straightforward, standardized and relatively easy way to assess behavioural styles and preferences.

When working with a team, it gives a simple insight into everyone’s personality and an understanding of how we each differ, plus how we can flex our communication style to suit the person we are working with to get the desired results.

This fun session highlights the strengths and weaknesses of the team, focusing on people’s behaviour types classed into four types Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness.  You can literally see the light bulb moments happen – team building gold!

The team explored their own profiles, then how they could work alongside their complete opposites. Learning each different style’s traits and personality behaviours.

Understanding how people would behave in their normal relaxed state and how things can change when they are stressed out.

Just a simple understanding of your colleague’s personality traits can make a huge difference to your results and working environment. Plus alleviate conflict and stress.

An energetic morning disappeared quickly with much laughter plus the all-knowing nodding of agreement when people recognised their traits and those of others around them.

The yellow teams energetic party planning will stick in my mind forever! (ask me about it if you want the details!)

Afternoon of marbles, drainpipes and magic sticks

The afternoon was jammed packed with team-building activities, including my magic stick (encourages much frustration and shouting), the drainpipe body delivery, Zoom a communication exercise, listening skills ending with a general discussion about the business, the team, and how to move forward in the future.

The greatest answers always come from within the team, offering a secure, fun space, delivering thoughts ideas, and commitments to move forward.

The chance to connect with colleagues on a different level builds trust and relationships that perhaps weren’t there before.

 Life Lessons from the training room

To join this team for a number of days was a privilege.  To learn that they take their roles seriously and even when no one is watching they deliver with the utmost respect.

To attend a funeral of someone I didn’t know was a new experience for me.  All emotion removed, I got to watch the lovely Nikki Godden in action, as a funeral arranger and civil celebrant, she creates, writes and delivers funeral services.

To watch from the sidelines was a positive learning experience, watching the dynamics of the team in action, like a perfectly oiled engine.

I also got to see a cremation happen and learn the process, from when the coffin disappears in the crematorium to the collection of the ashes.  The crematorium technician was happy to talk me through the process and I watched from start to finish amazed again at the detail and effort by all involved.

The warm welcome is extended by County Funerals to all visitors, the families of the deceased are encouraged to visit the shop and spend time with their loved ones (there is normally cake and tea available), nothing is too much to ask and the team go above and beyond to make the loss of a loved one a comfortable journey.  Loss is painful enough and making sure the individual wishes are met is a true value for County Funerals.

I have delivered multiple team-building days and sessions over the years and love interaction and learning, this had to be one of my favourites.

For me taking a deep dive into the funeral industry was a brand new learning experience, one that I think we don’t give enough credit for.

We often shy away from death and when I talk of visiting and training at a funeral home, people look at me with fear and shock…..for me to understand the care, attention to detail and absolute respect that is taken in County Funerals behind the scenes is breath taking – I know their reviews and feedback are testament to this.  The fact that the management also care about their staff and want to enhance their personal and professional skills is the icing on the cake.

Despite me being asked to help and guide the team, I think the team also guided me to an extensive increase in brain matter and understanding of that horrible thing we call death, and I know if my loved ones needed a funeral director, I know who I would call!

I heard an almighty noise, something was happening.

As I looked out of the window all looked calm, yet too quiet then I spotted it…

A most beautiful sparrow hawk, panting for breath on the floor of next door’s garden.

Now I knew the reason for the silence, in the neighbours garden is an aviary filled with brightly coloured budgies and canaries who sing all day, every day unless, it seems,  they appear to be singled out as lunch.

The noise was the sparrow hawk attacking the wire mesh…it must be like walking past a cake shop, starving hungry and all you can see is the window filled with beautiful colourful pastries and sweet treats, but you being unable to enter as the door is locked.

(You can learn more about the sparrow hawk here, mine was a female)

The sparrow hawk was clearly hungry and she tried with all her might to catch a budgie without any luck.

I opened the window and disturbed the hawk, he flew away at speed, and then I noticed….

The budgies were all frozen…..no movement from any of them, scattered around the aviary on individual branches, no sounds, other than a very gentle tweet every now and again.  I imagined them to be saying in a whisper “has it gone, can we move”.

They stayed frozen for at least 20 minutes or more, the fear instilled by the attack had literally frozen them to the spot.

The only problem was they were actually totally safe.

The wire mesh of the aviary was no match for the sparrow hawk, he could see them and repeatedly dived at them but couldn’t reach them at all.

Inside the aviary, the birds had inside areas where they could go and not even be seen… Yet here they were frozen to their branches, not moving an inch.

It’s funny how we can experience fear and freeze on the spot, when you look at the bigger picture, there is nothing to be scared of as you are truly safe.

We protect ourselves from attacks and imaginary things, sometimes making us freeze in life, making time stand still and holding back our enjoyment, pleasure and just enjoying life. When in reality we are perfectly safe, the threat isn’t real.

The good news is, there is a different way.  With my fast fixer model, we take a look at the bigger picture, realise the wire protects us and there is no need to fear.  We explore ways to let go of the fear and move forward flying freely as we should.

Perhaps you would benefit from exploring the fear that holds you back, maybe a coach like me could help you see that you too are safe, and that time and life can start again.

What if you stopped the fear from holding you back, how could life be different?

Want some help – get in touch I would love to chat with you.

I often use this coaching hack with my clients when they have a minor dilemma with a problem in their lives.  It fascinates me how, when using this hack you can get three answers and more often than not clarity, to make the next move.

Scientific studies have shown that within our bodies we have neurological pathways that travel through our nervous system sending electrical pulses (messages) continuously through us and there are arguments that neurons not only sit in our brains but also within our hearts and stomachs (gut).  Research is continually learning more and more about the mind body connection.

Heart Brain?

Heart Math.org says “Traditionally, the study of communication pathways between the head and heart has been approached from a rather one-sided perspective, with scientists focusing primarily on the heart’s responses to the brain’s commands. We have learned, however, that communication between the heart and brain actually is a dynamic, ongoing, two-way dialogue, with each organ continuously influencing the other’s function. Research has shown that the heart communicates to the brain in four major ways: neurologically (through the transmission of nerve impulses), biochemically (via hormones and neurotransmitters), biophysically (through pressure waves) and energetically (through electromagnetic field interactions). Communication along all these conduits significantly affects the brain’s activity. Moreover, our research shows that messages the heart sends to the brain also can affect performance.

Stomach Brain?

Our stomachs are proven to have over 100million brain cells in them (more than that of a cat) and our stomachs can directly affect our mood and appetite and often referred to as the little brain.  although it does little actual thinking, it does the daily grind of keeping us nourished, extracting nutrients and vitamins that we need.

Trusting Your Gut

Standing in front of the magnificent Hereford Cathedral, the angel seems to watch and send a silent message, a plea, which is eerily captivating.

As your eyes tune into the finer details of the sculpture, you begin to notice the number of individual knives and blades.  The different sizes, coloured handles, styles, finer details and the sheer number of weapons is positively mindblowing.

His wings are made of multiple blades, the rust just adding to the overall effect of the statue. With his dark eyes and magnificent hands, you can’t help feeling entranced.

I couldn’t help then wondering about the story behind the knives …. where they have been used, for what purpose, and then noticing a small amount of relief that they were handed in and now they are educating and wowing people everywhere.

Where did he come from?

The knives have been collected from Police force amnesties held across the country.  The amnesties were held to highlight, grab attention and bring the issue of knife crime to the front of society’s consciousness.

The Knife Angel idea came from a customer’s comment at The British Ironwork Centre which is a family-run business based in Oswestry following their Uri Geller spoon gorilla project. The team along with artist Alfie Bradley created a plan and following approval for the project from the Home Office the project “Save a Life, Surrender Your Knife” was born.

You can read the full Knife Angel story here.

The National Anti-Violence Tour is taking the knife angel around the UK and could be coming to a city near you – you can find out where he has been and where he is going here.

Knife Angel bought back memories for me

When I was a small child I witnessed a knife crime.  I was walking with my mother outside a public house and a fight was taking place, one of the men, pulled out a knife.  My mother quickly ushered us away.  I have no idea of the outcome of the fight or even if the knife was used but at the tender age of around 5 years old, It impacted my thoughts and scared me.  Even at that young age, I knew what it meant and I often relived that scary moment.

As an adult, I have been able to process that memory using my NLP tools and techniques. It doesn’t remove the memory, it removes the emotions involved with that moment and allows me to think back without an emotional trigger happening within me.  I do wonder if perhaps that experience was part of laying foundations of helping people with my coaching and holistic therapy.

As a child, I was confused, as to why the men wanted to hurt each other.  As an adult I understand alcohol-fulled fights, I don’t understand the need to carry a weapon and potentially stab or kill another human being.  I am not sure, I will ever feel comfortable with knife crime.

What I do know, is that this Knife Angel can only be a good thing.  Educating and potentially helping to reduce the number of knives on our streets, let’s hope it continues.

Carol Dweck shares her thoughts on the power of believing you can improve in the video below – It’s worth a look!

She highlights the power of the word yet.

When we change our words or add an additional word to a sentence it can make a difference to how we feel about things. 

How we feel feel about things, shifts our body, our breathing our outlook..it is all connected.

We can reframe our negative chatter, hear a new version of events and begin to look for an outcome we want.

Using a tiny little word such as yet, can have a massive impact…..

• I didn’t get the job……yet
• I can’t hit my personal best …..yet
• I don’t fit in ….yet
• I am not feeling better…yet

By adding the word yet, you begin to reframe the words and it makes them somehow more optimistic or positive.

It offers hope, the encouragement to give it another go, to try again.

It can give the boost of confidence or bravery you need, that little gentle push.

In my coaching sessions, I use the power of yet with many of my clients. 

I truly believe we all have the resources we need within us to be successful and achieve amazing things….perhaps sometimes we just need to explore the option that we may not have done it, just yet.

There is always a way…..you just haven’t found it yet.

Give adding the word ‘yet’ on to your negative chatter and see if it makes a difference to your thinking, how you feel and your outcomes.

Watch Carol Dweck’s video for more insight.

Let me know in what way you have incorporated the word ‘yet’ into your life and the difference it made for you.

I would love to celebrate your success with you 🙂 

Have a great day…choose it that way.

The frustration, the rage, the busy head full of questions… why have I messed up again, all his words poured out from his mouth like a fast flowing river.

I sat in silence, watching the torrent of words flow…..as he slowly lowered his hand and looked at me…..” Tell me what’s important to you, as you are today about your relationship?”

The Flipchart of success became his focal point…as we began to extract his core values.

As much as we like to think that we are in control of our behaviours, more often these are determined on an unconscious level and what we value drives our behaviours and therefore our outcomes.

In Alex’s case we started to list his values…variety, excitement, choice, flexibility..this list went on…

Do these core values sit well with someone in a committed loving relationship someone who wants commitment with one person and to settle down with that person? He wanted variety, excitement, choice…. sadly the evidence was clear the core values were not aligned with want he truly wanted.

He was doing the exact opposite and his repeated behaviour was evidence enough.

As a success coach, I work with my client to explore their core values.

Values are things that are important to us.  They are a filter, high level generalisations of the things that matter to us. We make decisions and take actions based on our values and how we feel. They guide our every decision and therefore our results, successes and potentially our fails.  Values can motivate us towards what we want or away from what we want.

A towards value means you are motivated towards what you want. A set focus on perhaps a goal.

An away from value is the flipside and will take you away from what you don’t want.

More often an away from Value can hinder our results and when we start to understand that these are not helpful, we can look to align the thinking and the values to attain our goals and the outcomes we really want in life.

Quite often these sessions explore far more than just core values, we unravel limiting decisions, thinking patterns and let go of some shit…sometimes stuff we didn’t even realise we had!

Back to Alex, a while later, we had explored his values and began aligning them to match what he truly desired…..months later he had the committed relationship he desired and even managed to drop the love word in his values set!

Do you have outcomes that aren’t serving you? Have you ever explored your core values and how they may be scuppering your success?

Perhaps it’s time, to consider that and book a session or two with me?

Just imagine…What if you stopped that pattern or changed your motivation, how would that make a difference in your life?

I joined a fantastic lineup of guest speakers all with the aim of helping small business owners.  Helping with cash flow, technology, marketing, invoicing, free banking and the list carries on.

The lineup included David from Herefordshire Mind who shared the importance of self-care and recognising how a small businesses cash flow can affect mental wellbeing.

We also heard from Chris from The DM Lab, who gave a fascinating insight into how digital marketing works especially when you put the customer at the heart of everything you do within your business.

Kinder Pocock are advocates of Xero and cloud accounting and Chaser (an app that helps you get your invoices paid quicker) and IZettle (Making card payments simple) representatives shared how you can use apps to help your small business get paid quickly and streamline your processes.

We also met Capitalise and Starling Bank who explored funding and online banking options.  If you want to see the full line up of the day, take a look at the SuperCharge Your Cashflow Blog.

My job was to celebrate the success of the audience and remind them that “If you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, you’re right.”

To spread a little positivity and encouragement.

To remind everyone that even on the darkest days, you are doing the best with the resources you have.

Take a moment to reflect on the journey so far and see how far you have come.

According to startups.co.uk there are 211,000 small businesses in the UK.

As a small business owner everything stops with you and you are juggling many balls.  Quite often we don’t take time to work on the business as we are so focused on working in and the day to day running of the business.  This event was a great opportunity to work realise you are not alone and pick up some great tips and free banking – result!

A big thank you goes to Sharon and her team, It was an inspirational event and my pleasure to be asked to join the event and be a guest speaker.

If you need a super cool accountant check her out and if you need a cheerleader or some positivity get in touch with me 🙂